First Round Results in the Stephen A. Smith Region

Here are the final first round results:

(1) TERRELL OWENS defeats (8) GARY SHEFFIELD, 60% to 40%
(2) ALEX RODRIGUEZ defeats (7) TOM BRADY, 80% to 20%
(3) REGGIE BUSH defeats (6) JEFF GORDON, 67% to 33%
(4) MANNY RAMIREZ defeats (5) ALLEN IVERSON, 55% to 45%

For the second region in a row, all four higher seeds have won. Overall, 10 of the 16 higher seeds won. Here are the second round matchups for the Smith Region:

(1) TERRELL OWENS vs. (4) MANNY RAMIREZ
(2) ALEX RODRIGUEZ vs. (3) REGGIE BUSH

Technical Difficulties

There have apparently been problems with Blogger today. Therefore, I cannot post any results or new polls right now. I will post Smith Region results and the other second round matchups as soon as they are worked out.

Thanks for your understanding and patience.

First Round Results in the Skip Bayless Region

In both of the first two regions, only one higher seed won. In the Skip Bayless Region, all four higher seeds won.

KOBE BRYANT defeats CHAD JOHNSON, 56% to 44%
ROGER CLEMENS defeats PACMAN JONES, 73% to 27%
BRETT FAVRE defeats TONY PARKER, 64% to 36%
BRADY QUINN defeats DAISUKE MATSUZAKA, 91% to 9%

Therefore, the second round in the Skip Bayless Region will be as follows:

(1) KOBE BRYANT vs. (4) BRADY QUINN
(2) ROGER CLEMENS vs. (3) BRETT FAVRE

The second round in the Bayless Region and the Smith Region are scheduled to begin, most probably on Friday. Stay tuned.

The Second Round Has Begun

Matchups in the first two regions begin now. The other two regions should begin on Friday. Here's the matchups one more time, with a brief summary of what makes them "not." If you want a full rundown of their credentials, check the original matchup.

DALE EARNHARDT JR. vs. TONY ROMO

• Earnhardt--Epitome of ESPN broadcasting strategy: He's newsworthy because he's the most popular. Forget that he may not qualify for the Chase again this year (which means he's not even one of the 12 best drivers out there).
• Romo--Didn't have to pay his dues or go through the regular channels to become famous. It was thrust upon him after a couple of games because he has one of the "best jobs" in sports: America's quarterback.

BOBBY KNIGHT vs. MATT LEINART

• Knight--Former championship coach who hasn't been relevant on the court for years. But he has become one of ESPN's "go to guys" for years because of his arrogance, attitude, and temper tantrums.
• Leinart--Legitimate national championship and Heisman Trophy quarterback. But ESPN's love for all things USC has turned him into a rock star and premature Hall of Famer.

MARK CUBAN vs. DAVID BECKHAM

• Cuban--Narcisistic owner who cannot stand not being the center of attention.
• Beckham--ESPN hype machine declaring him "the savior of American soccer" remains out of control. ESPN would prefer to show shots of him warming up and stretching than show the game actually being played on the field.

MICHAEL VICK vs. MICHELLE WIE

• Vick--Considered an elite quarterback even though his passing skills leave a lot to be desired. His dog-fighting accusations have consumed the network's "news" coverage.
• Wie--Teenage golfing phenom whose desire for publicity and money (or her handlers' desire for publicity and money) by qualifying for men's tournaments have damaged her chances of ever being taken seriously as a professional golfer.

VOTE NOW!

The 2nd Round Begins Tomorrow

Wednesday morning, I am going to put up the 2nd round matchups in the Chris Berman Region and the Stuart Scott Region. Just so that you can get a taste of the matchups in advance, here they are.

SECOND ROUND, CHRIS BERMAN REGION:
(5) DALE EARNHARDT, JR. vs. (8) TONY ROMO
(2) BOBBY KNIGHT vs. (6) MATT LEINART

SECOND ROUND, STUART SCOTT REGION:
(5) MARK CUBAN vs. (8) DAVID BECKHAM
(3) MICHAEL VICK vs. (7) MICHELLE WIE

See you then. Thank you.

First Round Results in the Stuart Scott Region

There are still a day or two to vote in the matchups in the first round in the last two regions. However, the first round results in the Scott Region are now complete:

(8) DAVID BECKHAM defeats (1) BARRY BONDS, 81% to 19%
(7) MICHELLE WIE defeats (2) LeBRON JAMES, 94% to 6%
(3) MICHAEL VICK defeats (6) DANICA PATRICK, 62% to 38%
(5) MARK CUBAN defeats (4) PEYTON MANNING, 92% to 8%

Finally, let me add that the overall number of votes has been dropping. I ask you to help pass the word if you think the site has value. And, of course, please continue to stop by and continue to vote. I appreciate all of you who stop by and participate. The second round should tentatively begin on late Wednesday/early Thursday.

The Moderator's Thoughts on the First Round Matchups in the Stephen A. Smith Region

Here are my thoughts on the last first round matchups:

TERRELL OWENS vs. GARY SHEFFIELD: Sheffield's antics are tired and old, and perhaps a little desperate. He's just starting to realize that the "national" media doesn't care about him anymore unless he does something outrageous, since he's not playing in New York. But like Kobe Bryant, T.O. takes ESPN hype to a different level. And it's only gotten worst since he got to "America's Team." I don't think I need to rehash the things he's done. He deserves attention because he's a great player, but this is out of hand. I mean, he's not Marvin Harrison or anything. MY VOTE: Owens

ALEX RODRIGUEZ vs. TOM BRADY: Like it is with Derek Jeter, the Tom Brady praise seems a little too positive. But Brady is going to be remembered as a clutch, big game, championship quarterback. He has three Super Bowl rings, which is three more rings than A-Rod has. A-Rod defines the paradox of ESPN coverage. When he does well, he's the best ever. When he slumps, he's the biggest fraud ever. But like the Yankees, he's always the story. And let's wait until he's a little closer to the all-time home run mark before we just give it to him. And I don't give a rat's ass what the New York tabloids are saying about him. So stop telling us. We don't care what New York journalists are saying. Stop being so narcissistic. Don't they have something better to do--like stirring up phony controversies with Chipper Jones? Oh wait, that was about A-Rod too. MY VOTE: Rodriguez

REGGIE BUSH vs. JEFF GORDON: Both guys define the term "overhyped superstar." Both are popular champions and deserve recognition. Both are beloved by their core audience. But, again, popularity should not dictate coverage. So I'm making a judgment call in Bush's favor. He gets more hype. And crowning the 2005 USC team (which didn't win the national championship) as one of college football's "best teams ever" was just so obnoxious. Not to mention that because of this USC-related hype, Vince Young (who still, I admit, gets his share of attention) is often overlooked. Yes, I know Young got the Madden cover, but all I see are Reggie Bush Madden commercials on television. MY VOTE: Bush

MANNY RAMIREZ vs. ALLEN IVERSON: This is another toss up for me. Both guys are fading superstars. Both were obnoxiously hyped in their day. Iverson for being a thug and a coach-killer; Manny for, as they say, being Manny. And that's why I guess I'm voting for Manny. Because, as the stupid phrase suggests, Manny gets to be famous because his name is in the phrase used for athletes who are dogging it (among other things that that the phrase describes). MY VOTE: Ramirez

First Round Results in the Chris Berman Region

Here are the complete first-round results in the Chris Berman Region:

(8) TONY ROMO defeats (1) TIGER WOODS, 92% to 8%
(2) BOBBY KNIGHT defeats (7) MARIA SHARAPOVA, 68% to 32%
(6) MATT LEINART defeats (3) DEREK JETER, 73% to 27%
(5) DALE EARNHARDT JR. defeats (4) SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, 68% to 32

Matchup 16: Manny Ramirez vs. Allen Iverson

And now for the final matchup of the first round, and the last matchup in the Stephen A. Smith Region

MANNY RAMIREZ--CREDENTIALS

• RBI machine
• 100-plus RBIs in 11 of last 12 seasons
• All Star 11 times
• MVP of 2004 World Series
• Helped lead Red Sox to their first World Series title in 86 years
• His trade and contract demands are always the centerpiece of ESPN's obnoxious "Hot Stove League" baseball off-season coverage EVERY SINGLE YEAR. We're still waiting for him to be traded
• ESPN has to use the phrase "Manny Being Manny," or a derivative of it, every time Manny or another baseball player does something outrageous

ALLEN IVERSON--CREDENTIALS

• Highest per-game scoring average among active NBA players
• NBA MVP in 2000-2001 season
• Led team to the 2001 NBA Finals
• The original "ESPN Bad Boy," only to be surpassed by the likes of Pacman Jones and Michael Vick
• Numerous problems with the law
• Constant run-ins with 76ers coaches, teammates, and management until they were forced to trade him to Denver
• Helped lead Team USA to a bronze medal in the 2004 Olympics
• Partly responsible for Stephen A. Smith
  

Matchup 15: Reggie Bush vs. Jeff Gordon

REGGIE BUSH--CREDENTIALS

• Heisman trophy winner
• Won national championship at USC
• Numerous endorsements
  
• Helped lead the historically-bad Saints to their first NFC Championship Game
• But so did Drew Brees, Deuce McAllister, Marques Colston, Jammal Brown, Will Smith and Sean Payton
  
• Like Matt Leinart, beneficiary of the ESPN/USC Hype Machine
• Considered by ESPN to be a can't-miss superstar and the guaranteed first pick in the 2006 NFL Draft
• He went 2nd
• ESPN already treats the #1 pick in that draft (Mario Williams) as a bona fide bust because they didn't take Reggie Bush
• Deuce McAllister, not Reggie Bush, was the Saints' leading rusher
  
• Vince Young, not Reggie Bush, was the Offensive Rookie of the Year
• Vince Young, not Reggie Bush, carried his team to the BCS National Championship in the 2006 Rose Bowl. Some people also argue that Young should have won Bush's Heisman too
• ESPN virtually ignores stories about his mom being given a house while he was at USC

JEFF GORDON--CREDENTIALS

• Current points leader for the 2007 NASCAR season
• Four-time NASCAR Winston Cup/Nextel Cup champion
• Has won 79 races
• Is the "golden boy" of NASCAR, like Derek Jeter in baseball and Tom Brady in football
• Cornerstone of NASCAR's efforts to expand its fan base beyond the South
• Has his own soft drink
• Frequent fill-in for Regis
  
• Resented by some "traditional" Southern NASCAR fans (and Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans) because of his media and marketing attention
  
• Has a squeaky-clean public image
• But he left his wife and married a supermodel
• Some people argue that this image also lets him get away with aggressive (maybe even dangerous) driving. That kind of stuff is more believable when a "jerk" like Tony Stewart does it
• Sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at (as he called it) "Wrigley Stadium"
• Half of ESPN's over-simplified NASCAR coverage (Who will win this week's race: Jeff Gordon, Dale Earnhardt Jr., or somebody else?)
  

Matchup 14: Alex Rodriguez vs. Tom Brady

ALEX RODRIGUEZ--CREDENTIALS

• Youngest player to 500 home runs
• Singed the biggest sports contract, ever
• Two-time American League MVP
• ESPN somehow decided that his 500th home run deserved equal billing with 756
• ESPN has also decided that he will break Barry Bonds's home run record soon
• Beneficiary of the ESPN/Yankees/Scott Boras Client hype machine
• When he does well, he's the greatest offensive player in the history of baseball
• But when he slumps (usually in the postseason), we're subjected to arrogant statements like "He's not a real Yankee" and "He hasn't 'earned his pinstripes'"
• Always compared negatively to Derek Jeter, who has apparently "earned his pinstripes"
• Credited by some for breaking the Red Sox Curse
• Tries to slap the ball out of gloves
• Yells at infielders trying to catch fly balls
• The tabloid headlines with the stripper
• His wife and her t-shirt
• ESPN thinks crap like the last two bullet points qualify as sports news

TOM BRADY--CREDENTIALS

• Three-time Super Bowl champion quarterback. Only Bradshaw and Montana have more
• Two-time Super Bowl MVP
  
• Did this in spite of being drafted in the sixth round
• Won 21 straight games with the Patriots
• Won 10 straight post-season games with the Patriots
• Raiders fans still complaining about the Tuck Rule. The Tom Brady legend began only because of that play
• ESPN's comparisons to Peyton Manning (he's better because Peyton isn't clutch and can't win it all) no longer valid
• ESPN's "golden boy" of the NFL. He is to the NFL what Derek Jeter is to baseball
• Dates supermodels
• Does this while also fathering illegitimate children. Like Matt Leinart's, ESPN would rather not talk about this
  

Matchup 13: Terrell Owens vs. Gary Sheffield

TERRELL OWENS--CREDENTIALS

• Five-time Pro Bowl wide receiver
• Holds the record for most receptions in a game
• Like Chad Johnson, is equally known for his touchdown celebrations
• The "Desperate Housewives" opening on Monday Night Football
• The Donovan McNabb incident
• He single-handedly destroyed the Eagles' 2005 season
  
• Jeff Garcia is gay
• He has 25 million reasons not to commit suicide
• He spits on opponents
• Every single thing he does is scrutinized to death on ESPN
  
• The term "publicity whore" doesn't even begin to describe him

GARY SHEFFIELD--CREDENTIALS

• One of baseball's best hitters
• Gets in fights with fans
• Accuses everyone he disagrees with (but not himself) of racism
• Racism accusations are sure to get you ESPN attention, because the audience is sure to get riled up about it (see ESPN playing up the Pacman Jones "thug" angle)
• Latin players are easier to control
• Derek Jeter is not black
• Latest accusations of racism mostly dismissed by ESPN (and the media in general) because he threw three of ESPN's Sacred Cows under the bus (Derek Jeter, Joe Torre, and the Yankees)
• Said he wouldn't play in the World Baseball Classic because he wasn't getting paid.
• Said he made errors on purpose when he was with the Brewers
  

The Moderator's Thoughts on the First Round Matchups in the Skip Bayless Region

We'll be moving on to the first round of the Stephen A. Smith region shortly. But first, a few comments

KOBE BRYANT vs. CHAD JOHNSON: Two "me first" players in a team sport. Some people consider Chad Johnson's antics funny; to me, they're too narcissistic. But at least he's worthy on the field of the attention. And so is Kobe. However, with Kobe, ESPN takes it too far. His individual scoring performances are incredible, but the Lakers are irrelevant (in terms of serious title contention) with him as team leader. And I'd rather watch a team that deserves to be shown than be force-fed Laker basketball every other broadcast. Oh yeah, and please ignore his trade demands until his credibility rises back to at least zero. MY VOTE: Bryant

ROGER CLEMENS vs. PACMAN JONES: What can I say about Pacman Jones? We wouldn't even know him if he wasn't always in trouble. And I don't like ESPN exploiting him as the "scary thug of the moment." ESPN's coverage of Pacman to me is intentionally designed to piss off one segment of his audience, while also pissing off the other because the other side got pissed off. And neither side realizes or even cares that ESPN is exploiting them for ad revenue. Clemens, like Kobe, is one of ESPN's many examples of overkill. And stop friggin' indulging him by acting like his every utterance or appearance is golden. And while you're at it, why don't you give some attention to Greg Maddux? It's okay to give a damn every now and then about a baseball player with no connection to Boston or New York in general or the Yankees in particular. MY VOTE: Clemens

BRETT FAVRE vs. TONY PARKER: Favre is Clemens Lite to me. He's an aging legend intent on milking ESPN's Publicity Machine for all it's worth. But Favre's star has faded a bit since that infamous 2006 offseason (with daily updates on his not retiring) and because the Packers are (like the Lakers) irrelevant. But at least Brett Favre doesn't have to date and marry a Desperate Housewife to get his attention. I don't care who's dating who. I don't care who's hot and who's not. I just want sports. Leave the rest of that garbage for "Entertainment Tonight" and "Inside Edition" to sort out. There's a reason why we hated "ESPN Hollywood." MY VOTE: Parker

BRADY QUINN vs. DAISUKE MATSUZAKA: ESPN's coverage of guys like Dice-K and A-Rod make me truly wonder whether Scott Boras also works as an ESPN executive. Because his guys seem to dominate ESPN's baseball coverage lately. But Brady Quinn, in my opinion, has taken ESPN hype to astounding levels. ESPN's coverage of the 2007 NFL Draft went from truly surreal to downright offensive in a matter of hours. You'd think he was the only guy worthy of recognition. Meanwhile, the #1 pick in the draft, a quarterback who KICKED HIS ASS head-to-head, was nowhere to be seen or mentioned. Why? Because he didn't go to Notre Dame? Because he's not pretty? Because he's not a marketer's ultimate fantasy? And just because you say he should go third doesn't mean that NFL scouts and GMs are forced to agree with you. The fact that ESPN (and the media in general) turned him into the story of the draft because he didn't go where they thought he should have gone is one of the most supremely arrogant things I have ever seen in my life. Mel Kiper is not always right, you know. MY VOTE: Quinn

Our First First-Round Winner

The results of our first "Who's Not" matchup are now official. And in our first final result, we have a major upset: #1 seed Tiger Woods has been ROUTED by the #8 seed Tony Romo.

(Please be reminded that the seedings were determined by my subjective determination of the person's degree of ESPN exposure. Hence, upsets will probably not be unlikely.)

The final result: ROMO--92%, WOODS--8%

This means that Tony Romo will move on to the semi-finals of the Chris Berman Region. He will take on the winner of the Shaquille O'Neal/Dale Earnhardt Jr. matchup. But based on his impressive first round performance, Romo has emerged as one of the early favorites to win it all. We shall see.

Matchup 12: Brady Quinn vs. Daisuke Matsuzaka

BRADY QUINN--CREDENTIALS

• Heisman Trophy finalist
• Led Notre Dame to back-to-back BCS appearances
• Stunk up the joint in 2006 when Notre Dame played Michigan, USC and LSU (completed less than 50 percent of his combined passes in those games--outscored by combined 73 points)
  
• Notre Dame outscored by combined 41 points in his two BCS games
• Beneficiary of the ESPN/Notre Dame Hype Machine
• Labeled by ESPN as a "franchise quarterback" and a top-three draft pick
• He went 22nd
• Apparently he and his agent don't realize he went 22nd
• ESPN turned the 2007 NFL Draft into "The Brady Quinn Show"
• The baby photos in the Browns uniform during the draft
• JaMarcus Russell, a fellow quarterback who beat Quinn head-to-head by a score of 41-14, went first in the draft. But the draft was still "The Brady Quinn Show"
• ESPN badly misjudged his draft position. Then ESPN used that personal error in judgment to label Quinn "The Story of the Draft"
• Quinn had to be taken out of the NFL Draft Green Room to protect him from ESPN cameras. Many viewers wish they could be protected from ESPN's Brady Quinn hype

DAISUKE MATSUZAKA--CREDENTIALS

• One of Japanese baseball's best pitchers
• MVP of the World Baseball Classic
• Subject of outrageous bidding war between Yankees, Red Sox, and others (not to sign him--to get the RIGHTS to sign him)
  
• He is having a very good rookie season with the Red Sox
• Beneficiary of the ESPN/Scott Boras Client Hype Machine
• Also known as "Dice-K Mania"
• The "gyroball" debate
  
• His "arrival" in the US similar to David Beckham's in terms of hype
• His first start in Fenway was treated like the arrival of royalty or the Pope
• While hyping Dice-K in his first start, ESPN almost missed opposing pitcher Felix Hernandez throwing a one-hitter against the Red Sox
• His "mix tape" was scheduled to go on sale last month
  

Matchup 11: Brett Favre vs. Tony Parker

BRETT FAVRE--CREDENTIALS

• Super Bowl champion
• Was NFL's MVP for three straight years
  
• Holds NFL record for most consecutive starts for a quarterback
• Like Roger Clemens, he has helped "non-news" become a staple of ESPN news programming (Our top story tonight, Brett Favre STILL hasn't retired)
• ESPN now entering its third year of the "Brett Favre Farewell Tour" (Tonight could be Favre's last........). He's having more farewell tours than the Rolling Stones
  
• He's the "other half" of Michael Strahan's dubious single-season sack record. Therefore, he helped move along the Michael Strahan Publicity Machine
• Used connections at ESPN to try and strong-arm Packer management to trade for Randy Moss

TONY PARKER--CREDENTIALS

• MVP of 2007 NBA Finals
• Two-time NBA All Star
• Has never made an All NBA team
  
• Second-best player on his own team. Some people even argue he's third-best
• Gets to be famous because he's married to Eva Longoria
• Parker/Longoria a match made in Disney Synergy Heaven
• "Desperate Housewives," Sundays on ABC!
  

Matchup 10: Roger Clemens vs. Pacman Jones

ROGER CLEMENS--CREDENTIALS

• One of the greatest pitchers of all time
• More than 350 wins
• Seven Cy Young Awards
• Struck out 20 batters in a game twice
• Struck out over 4,000 batters
• Clemens and ESPN have turned "non-news" into an art form (Our top story tonight: Roger Clemens STILL hasn't decided if he'll pitch this year)
• Greg Maddux is only 11 wins behind Clemens (at last check), and Maddux made his MLB debut 2 years after Clemens--but he doesn't get anywhere near the attention
• Is making $28 million this year. So far he has 3 wins in 13 starts
• This story is usually buried by ESPN, due in part to the Alex Rodriguez Hype Machine
• So are the steroid allegations. But allegations against Barry Bonds aren't
• Clemens's minor league starts are aired live on ESPN

PACMAN JONES--CREDENTIALS

• Sixth overall pick in 2005 NFL Draft
• Scored four touchdowns last year, playing only on defense and special teams
• Legal problems too numerous to mention
• Suspended for the year by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell
• Coverage of his legal problems and suspension dominated ESPN coverage for months (only to be surpassed by Michael Vick's problems)
• Currently ESPN's "poster person for bad behavior" (along with Vick)
  
• ESPN used Pacman Jones's "mug shot" for its official "over the shoulder" graphic on SportsCenter
  

Matchup 9: Kobe Bryant vs. Chad Johnson

Time now to move on to the first round matchups in the Skip Bayless Region

KOBE BRYANT--CREDENTIALS

• Two-time defending NBA scoring champion
• Scored 81 points in a game
• 4 straight 50-point games last season
• Won 3 NBA titles with Shaquille O'Neal
• Kobe and the Lakers have not been a serious title contender since Shaq left
• In spite of that, the Lakers are still the most televised team on ESPN and ABC
• His sexual assault case set the early standard for ESPN's over-the-top police blotter reporting (at least for active players)
• Demanded a trade from the Lakers
• Wait, no he didn't
• Oh wait. Yes, he did
• Wait. He might stay if Kevin Garnett comes (which didn't happen)
  
• Ric Bucher has basically become Kobe's personal publicist

CHAD JOHNSON--CREDENTIALS

• Has led the AFC in receiving yards for four years in a row
• One of the few Bengals who hasn't been arrested lately
• Former spokesperson for Fathead (insert your own punchline)
• Mark Cuban-esque publicity whore
  
• Ocho Cinco
• "The list" of defensive backs who covered him in the 2005 season
• Known as much for his touchdown celebrations as he does for being an elite wide receiver
• During an interview with an ESPN "reporter," the "reporter" finished the interview by saying "We look forward to your next touchdown celebration"
  

The Moderator's Take on The First Round in the Stuart Scott Region

The next region's matchups will begin most probably late Tuesday/early Wednesday. But first, here's my take on the Stuart Scott Region:

BARRY BONDS vs. DAVID BECKHAM: I guess how you vote in this matchup depends on which voting criterion for "Who's Not" is more annoying to you. In terms of undeserving hype, David Beckham has it by a mile. The thing going against him, in my opinion, is that I think that Beckham will be a fad. ESPN will push him into the trash pile in the next few weeks, and he will never be heard from again. On the other hand, Barry Bonds is the definition of ESPN Overkill. Sure, he's great. And sure, he's going for the home run record. And sure, there are the accusations. But ESPN, in my opinion, has turned it into something you can't avoid, even if you want to. And "Bonds on Bonds" was one ESPN's biggest steps down the road to ruin of hype, celebrity and publicity over journalistic integrity. There needs to be a line between athletes and the people who report on him, and ESPN just blurred the hell out of it on this guy. MY VOTE: Bonds

LeBRON JAMES vs. MICHELLE WIE: LeBron hosting the ESPYs and "The Lebrons" SportsCenter further blurred the line that "Bonds on Bonds" illustrated in my previous comments. But at least he's done something. I don't understand why ESPN thinks I'm this obsessed with how Michelle Wie does in men's tournaments. Call me back when she actually has a chance to win something. Which, according to what I see right now, may be--NEVER. And there's something a little sleazy about the fact that she's often portrayed as sexy. Let's save that discussion for until she's legal. MY VOTE: Wie

MICHAEL VICK vs. DANICA PATRICK: I am probably more conflicted about this one than I am about any other first-round matchup. I think "Ookie" is overrated, and it's about time that somebody at ESPN had the balls to call him out on his passing inconsistency. And now his dog-fighting charges (and I stress the word charges) has taken ESPN news coverage hostage in recent weeks. But at least he has done something in his career worthy of recognition. ESPN has hyped the crap out of Danica for three years now, and she has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in that long time on the racetrack to justify ESPN's obsession with this woman. You'll notice that there's a constant theme for the three women ESPN shoves down our throats: they're all sold on their sex appeal, while "less attractive" women are who are much, much more talented than them (or men, in Danica's case) get no recognition. Nope, no sexism there. MY VOTE: Patrick

PEYTON MANNING vs. MARK CUBAN: Okay, Peyton. Take it easy on the commercials. But I love the fact that he and the Colts defied ESPN's expectations and won a championship. It's funny watching the labels ESPN and all the other Peyton critics placed on him disappear after the Super Bowl. It's pathetic to see ESPN change its Peyton stance to "he'll never win it all" to "how many will he win" almost overnight. But I'm so damn sick and tired of seeing Mark Cuban hogging the spotlight. I don't want to see him in the stands during the game; I want to watch the damn game. Cuban is the personification of a lot of things I hate about ESPN and its new "Entertainment Tonight" style of coverage: just because a celebrity sports figure says something or holds a press conference, there is no obligation on your part to indulge them. If they don't have anything new or interesting to say, then guess what? WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! Thanks, ESPN, for giving the sports world its very own version of Donald Trump. We were really begging for that one. MY VOTE: Cuban

Matchup 8: Peyton Manning vs. Mark Cuban

PEYTON MANNING--CREDENTIALS

• Super Bowl Champion
• Super Bowl MVP
• Holds records for most touchdown passes in a single season
• Archie's dad and Eli's brother
  
• Numerous commercial endorsements
• God, the commercials. You can't get away from this guy
• Prematurely labeled by ESPN as "This Generation's Dan Marino"
• Prematurely labeled as inferior to Tom Brady because he never won a championship
• Portrayed as nerdy "student of the game" (as opposed to "Golden Boy" Tom Brady)
• He and Eli got in trouble during ESPN Studio tour

MARK CUBAN--CREDENTIALS

• The Mavericks flat-out stunk before he bought the team
• Helped turn the Mavericks into one of the NBA's most popular franchises, and a consistent title contender
• Is the ultimate publicity whore
• Apparently ESPN's favorite and definitely most-interviewed and most-discussed owner--even more than Jerry Jones, George Steinbrenner and Daniel Snyder
• 2006 NBA Finals billed as "Shaq, Dwayne Wade and the Heat vs. Mark Cuban and the Mavericks"
• Gets more face time during NBA games than Jack Nicholson
• ESPN feels obliged to report on his blog entries
• 2006 Mavs were the NBA's best team, but were eliminated in six games in the first round of the playoffs
• Always getting in the news for proposing new sports leagues or buying other teams (which never seem to happen)
  

Matchup 7: Michael Vick vs. Danica Patrick

MICHAEL VICK--CREDENTIALS

• Number-one pick in 2001 NFL Draft
• Led VA Tech to BCS Championship Game in 1999 season
• Led Falcons to 2004 NFC Championship Game
• Ran for 1,000 yards in a season as a quarterback
  
• Nike spokesperson
• Ron Mexico
• Giving the finger to the crowd
• Dog fighting accusations
• On ESPN, the games themselves are often ignored in favor of wall-to-wall coverage of his legal problems
• Rarely criticized for being an inconsistent passer (to say the least)
  
• ESPN analysts consistently blame his low completion percentage and lack of accuracy on his wide receivers

DANICA PATRICK--CREDENTIALS

• One of a very small number of female race car drivers
• Sex symbol
• Numerous endorsements
• "GoDaddy Girl"
• Has never actually won a race
• Let me repeat: she has never actually won a race
• One more time: SHE HAS NEVER ACTUALLY WON A RACE
• ESPN ate up phony "Danica to NASCAR" rumors in 2006
• Used connection to David Letterman to help become famous, and then threw him and Letterman Rahal Racing under the bus and joined the Andretti team
• Apparently it wasn't all Letterman/Rahal's fault. She still hasn't won a race
• Unapologetically (on both sides) the only IndyCar driver ESPN cares about
  
• Did I mention that she has never won a race?
• Accidentally parked in Dan Patrick's parking space
  

Matchup 6: LeBron James vs. Michelle Wie

LeBRON JAMES--CREDENTIALS

• One of the best young players in any sport
• Carried the Cavs to the finals almost by himself
• Scored the last 25 points in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals this year
• Has mainly lived up to the ridiculous hype he received in high school
• Hosted the ESPYs
• Was not first-team all NBA in two of the last three years
• Scott Van Pelt stole his chair
• "The LeBrons" featured on SportsCenter

MICHELLE WIE--CREDENTIALS

• Youngest player to qualify for an LPGA event
• Youngest player to make the cut in an LPGA event
• Has not won an LPGA event, but tries to qualify for men's events
• Attempting to qualify for PGA events has turned her into a money-making, publicity-seeking sideshow instead of a serious golfer
• Allegedly faked a wrist injury to avoid LPGA Rule of 88, which would have banned her from the tour
• 14-year-old sex symbol
• Gets more ESPN coverage than Annika Sorenstam
  

Matchup 5: Barry Bonds vs. David Beckham

Moving on to the Stuart Scott Region

BARRY BONDS--CREDENTIALS

• Over 700 home runs
• Was one of the game's best players, even before the allegations
• One of sports' most polarizing figures (which equals ESPN publicity out the yin-yang)
• ESPN feels obliged to stop everything EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes up to bat
• "Chasing Ruth" and "Chasing Aaron"
• The Giants have been the first team on the Bottom Line ever since he got close to Ruth
  
• "Bonds on Bonds"
• Steroids, BALCO, etc
• Made Pedro Gomez famous

DAVID BECKHAM--CREDENTIALS

• One of the world's most popular athletes
• Helped Manchester United win a lot of titles
• ESPN treated his arrival in Los Angeles like The Beatles' arrival for the Ed Sullivan Show
• Posh Spice
• The phrase "Bend It Like Beckham" (the movie wasn't ESPN's fault)
  
• ESPN overhyped his L.A. Galaxy debut, in which he only played in the last 13 minutes of the game
  

The Moderator's Take on The First Round in the Chris Berman Region

Since it's my blog, I would like to take the opportunity to voice my two cents on the first round matchups in the Chris Berman Region. I will let you know how I voted and why. However, unlike ESPN, I will not make my vote count more than yours.

TIGER WOODS vs. TONY ROMO: While I realize that ESPN's love for Tiger Woods can get a little out of hand sometimes, he deserves a lot of the attention he gets. He is good and for the most part likable. I just think that he's no more dominant in his sport than Roger Federer is in his (and Federer gets no attention whatsoever from ESPN). As for Romo, come on. He gets to be in the limelight and discussed among the elite quarterbacks because he had a good month and a half? If Tony Romo played for the Browns, he would have been a curiosity last year at best. And God knows Carrie Underwood wouldn't have anything to do with him. MY VOTE: Romo

BOBBY KNIGHT vs. MARIA SHARAPOVA: This is almost a toss-up for me. If Sharapova was ordinary looking, ESPN wouldn't care. And as I posted in the original matchup, she's not the best female tennis player in terms of Grand Slam wins. But as also mentioned in the original post, she gets credit because, unlike Anna Kournikova, she has game. As far as Knight goes, he's been irrelevant for over a decade. He's become a caricature of his former self. And ESPN and Knight seem content on milking it for all it's worth. MY VOTE: Knight

DEREK JETER vs. MATT LEINART: You can probably tell by my comments in the matchup that I am a little annoyed by and skeptical of his carefully-crafted public persona as The Man Who Can Do No Wrong. But he has, for the most part, earned his due. As far as Leinart goes, you can't take the college championships and awards away from him. But please, ESPN, kick your USC love down a notch or two. And projecting him as a Hall of Famer after roughly half a season of NFL starts is a little presumptuous, to say the VERY least. Especially for a Cardinal. MY VOTE: Leinart

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL vs. DALE EARNHARDT JR: Yes, I am not impressed by Shaq's antics off the court. But he is a champion. And in my opinion, he is the "good guy" (if there is one) in the Shaq/Kobe feud. As far as Junior goes, I am voting for him, but not because I'm part of the "NASCAR is not a sport/NASCAR is a redneck sport" crowd. To me, that's irrelevant. I'm voting for Junior because he has, for the most part, sucked for the last three years and is still the most publicized driver. Yes, I know he's popular. But popularity alone should not dictate the degree of coverage, especially when we're talking about ESPN's (purported) news-oriented programs and networks. MY VOTE: Junior

The Stuart Scott Region will get underway after the weekend. Until then, I encourage you to spread the word, and hope all of you have a great weekend.

Matchup 4: Shaquille O'Neal vs. Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Here's the final matchup in the Chris Berman Region

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL--CREDENTIALS

• Won 4 NBA titles so far
• One of them without Kobe Bryant
• One of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players
• Numerous endorsements
• One half of the overplayed Shaq/Kobe feud (which can usually be seen on ABC on Christmas Day!)
• Shaq the Police Officer
• "Shaq's Big Challenge"

(NOTE: You can't blame "Kazaam" and his rap albums on ESPN--I don't think)

DALE EARNHARDT JR--CREDENTIALS

• One of the two most popular NASCAR drivers
• Dale's kid
• Numerous endorsements (even for NASCAR)
• Has won a grand total of 2 Nextel Cup races after 2004 season
• During that same time, for example, Jimmie Johnson has won 13, Tony Stewart has won 12, and Jeff Gordon has won 10
  
• His departure from DEI has turned into an ESPN soap opera
• Not directly related, but his daddy was the subject of an ESPN movie
  

Matchup 3: Derek Jeter vs. Matt Leinart

Moving on in the Chris Berman Region...

DEREK JETER--CREDENTIALS

• Yankees captain
• Cornerstone of the great Yankee teams of the late 90s/early 00s
• Considered one of sports' greatest clutch players
• "The Flip" shown ad nauseam (even though it was an amazing play)
• Dates celebrities
• Apparently has done nothing wrong, selfish, or controversial at any point in his life or career
• Portrayed as the angel to Alex Rodriguez's devil

MATT LEINART

• Heisman Trophy quarterback
• National Championship quarterback
• First round draft pick, and solid rookie season for the Cardinals
• Also dates celebrities
• Rarely called out on ESPN as a Deadbeat Dad
• His 2005 USC team prematurely hyped on ESPN as one of the all-time greatest teams, right before it lost the Rose Bowl to Texas
• ESPN already predicting that he will make it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame
• Wore a "f*** the BCS" t-shirt on ESPN after being locked out of the BCS championship in 2003. Then, in 2004, he and his teammates defended the BCS when an undefeated Auburn team was locked out of the BCS championship
  

Matchup 2: Bobby Knight vs. Maria Sharapova--and "Thank You" to The Big Lead

BOBBY KNIGHT--CREDENTIALS

• Winningest NCAA Division I basketball coach
• Has won national championships and gold medals
• Dick Vitale calls him "The General: Robert Mongtomery Knight"
• "A Season on the Brink" movie
• "Knight School"
• ESPN tried to turn an (alleged) slap of a Texas Tech player into a national crisis
• Texas Tech basketball on TV more often than deserved (based on performance)

MARIA SHARAPOVA--CREDENTIALS

• Has won two Grand Slam titles
• Highest-paid female athlete
• Anna Kournikova with talent (a.k.a. she's hot)
• ESPN always seems to find a way to get her matches on in primetime
• Like Tiger and golf, ESPN doesn't care about tennis when she's not in the tournament
• Justine Henin has more Grand Slam titles (6), but maybe an ounce of the media attention

I will try to get one or more two more up before the weekend. Thanks to "The Big Lead" for the mention.

Matchup 1: Tiger Woods vs. Tony Romo

Here's our first matchup, complete with credentials

TIGER WOODS--CREDENTIALS

• The world's most popular athlete
• One of the most dominate athletes in any sport
• Unbelievable amount of endorsement deals
• ESPN doesn't talk about a PGA event if he's not participating
• His first child's baby photos once made SportsCenter's "Top Ten Plays"

TONY ROMO--CREDENTIALS

• Quarterback for "America's Team"
• Made the Pro Bowl based on four good starts
• Dates American Idols
• Hype machine didn't stop after a horrible December and a botched FG snap in the playoffs

Next matchup to come--soon!

Welcome to "Who's Not"

Welcome. So glad to have you here. This blog is dedicated to determining which sports figure is the most "Not." This bracket-style tournament is based on the INCREDIBLY MORONIC "Who's Now" tournament.

In order to be considered "Not," you have to meet two perhaps-unrelated, but extremely important criteria:

1. Real sports fans are sick to death of ESPN shoving said sports figure down our throats.
2. Said sports figure, based on on-field performance, is least deserving of the celebrity status "The Worldwide Leader in Sports" has bestowed upon him or her.

The 32 sports figures chosen for this tournament were selected based upon my subjective determination of the amount of ESPN hype and overexposure that surrounds that athlete. The greater the amount of exposure, the higher the seed. However, do not forget that both exposure and worthiness are the criteria to determine the winner. Therefore, if you think that a 1 seed is deserving of the attention that he or she gets, then don't vote for that person. However, if you think that a lower seed is completely undeserving of the ESPN hype, then vote for that person.

I suspect that there will be many, many upsets in this tournament.

So, moving on, let's take a look at the 32 sports figures that made the tournament:

CHRIS BERMAN REGION
(1) Tiger Woods vs. (8) Tony Romo
(2) Bobby Knight vs. (7) Maria Sharapova
(3) Derek Jeter vs. (6) Matt Leinart
(4) Shaquille O'Neal vs. (5) Dale Earnhardt Jr.

STUART SCOTT REGION
(1) Barry Bonds vs. (8) David Beckham
(2) LeBron James vs. (7) Michelle Wie
(3) Michael Vick vs. (6) Danica Patrick
(4) Peyton Manning vs. (5) Mark Cuban

SKIP BAYLESS REGION
(1) Kobe Bryant vs. (8) Chad Johnson
(2) Roger Clemens vs. (7) Pacman Jones
(3) Brett Favre vs. (6) Tony Parker
(4) Brady Quinn vs. (5) Daisuke Matsuzaka

STEPHEN A. SMITH REGION
(1) Terrell Owens vs. (8) Gary Sheffield
(2) Alex Rodriguez vs. (7) Tom Brady
(3) Reggie Bush vs. (6) Jeff Gordon
(4) Manny Ramirez vs. (5) Allen Iverson

The tournament begins in early August. Until then, I welcome any comments. If you disagree with the seedings or the participants, pass your suggestions along to me. I look forward to finding out, with your help, "WHO'S NOT!"