ALEX RODRIGUEZ--CREDENTIALS
- Youngest player to 500 home runs
- Singed the biggest sports contract, ever
- Two-time American League MVP
- ESPN somehow decided that his 500th home run deserved equal billing with 756
- ESPN has also decided that he will break Barry Bonds's home run record soon
- Beneficiary of the ESPN/Yankees/Scott Boras Client hype machine
- When he does well, he's the greatest offensive player in the history of baseball
- But when he slumps (usually in the postseason), we're subjected to arrogant statements like "He's not a real Yankee" and "He hasn't 'earned his pinstripes'"
- Always compared negatively to Derek Jeter, who has apparently "earned his pinstripes"
- Credited by some for breaking the Red Sox Curse
- Tries to slap the ball out of gloves
- Yells at infielders trying to catch fly balls
- The tabloid headlines with the stripper
- His wife and her t-shirt
- ESPN thinks crap like the last two bullet points qualify as sports news
- Three-time Super Bowl champion quarterback. Only Bradshaw and Montana have more
- Two-time Super Bowl MVP
- Did this in spite of being drafted in the sixth round
- Won 21 straight games with the Patriots
- Won 10 straight post-season games with the Patriots
- Raiders fans still complaining about the Tuck Rule. The Tom Brady legend began only because of that play
- ESPN's comparisons to Peyton Manning (he's better because Peyton isn't clutch and can't win it all) no longer valid
- ESPN's "golden boy" of the NFL. He is to the NFL what Derek Jeter is to baseball
- Dates supermodels
- Does this while also fathering illegitimate children. Like Matt Leinart's, ESPN would rather not talk about this
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