Matchup 8: Peyton Manning vs. Mark Cuban

PEYTON MANNING--CREDENTIALS

• Super Bowl Champion
• Super Bowl MVP
• Holds records for most touchdown passes in a single season
• Archie's dad and Eli's brother
  
• Numerous commercial endorsements
• God, the commercials. You can't get away from this guy
• Prematurely labeled by ESPN as "This Generation's Dan Marino"
• Prematurely labeled as inferior to Tom Brady because he never won a championship
• Portrayed as nerdy "student of the game" (as opposed to "Golden Boy" Tom Brady)
• He and Eli got in trouble during ESPN Studio tour

MARK CUBAN--CREDENTIALS

• The Mavericks flat-out stunk before he bought the team
• Helped turn the Mavericks into one of the NBA's most popular franchises, and a consistent title contender
• Is the ultimate publicity whore
• Apparently ESPN's favorite and definitely most-interviewed and most-discussed owner--even more than Jerry Jones, George Steinbrenner and Daniel Snyder
• 2006 NBA Finals billed as "Shaq, Dwayne Wade and the Heat vs. Mark Cuban and the Mavericks"
• Gets more face time during NBA games than Jack Nicholson
• ESPN feels obliged to report on his blog entries
• 2006 Mavs were the NBA's best team, but were eliminated in six games in the first round of the playoffs
• Always getting in the news for proposing new sports leagues or buying other teams (which never seem to happen)
  

Matchup 7: Michael Vick vs. Danica Patrick

MICHAEL VICK--CREDENTIALS

• Number-one pick in 2001 NFL Draft
• Led VA Tech to BCS Championship Game in 1999 season
• Led Falcons to 2004 NFC Championship Game
• Ran for 1,000 yards in a season as a quarterback
  
• Nike spokesperson
• Ron Mexico
• Giving the finger to the crowd
• Dog fighting accusations
• On ESPN, the games themselves are often ignored in favor of wall-to-wall coverage of his legal problems
• Rarely criticized for being an inconsistent passer (to say the least)
  
• ESPN analysts consistently blame his low completion percentage and lack of accuracy on his wide receivers

DANICA PATRICK--CREDENTIALS

• One of a very small number of female race car drivers
• Sex symbol
• Numerous endorsements
• "GoDaddy Girl"
• Has never actually won a race
• Let me repeat: she has never actually won a race
• One more time: SHE HAS NEVER ACTUALLY WON A RACE
• ESPN ate up phony "Danica to NASCAR" rumors in 2006
• Used connection to David Letterman to help become famous, and then threw him and Letterman Rahal Racing under the bus and joined the Andretti team
• Apparently it wasn't all Letterman/Rahal's fault. She still hasn't won a race
• Unapologetically (on both sides) the only IndyCar driver ESPN cares about
  
• Did I mention that she has never won a race?
• Accidentally parked in Dan Patrick's parking space